Heppytour in Australia

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Arrive in Fremantle to find Garry, our vet friend, in pretty much the same state as us - only he's been on night duty at veterinarians' hospital (the mysterious case of the cat that's gone to the dogs). The first of many odd sightings occurs for the boys as a rock falls out of the sky in front of us. Despite the glorious sunshine and blue skies, we sleep for days.

Gary's sharing a house with another vet - the beautiful, blonde Belinda (how does he do it?) Her house has a wonderful ingredient - the front porch, perfectly designed for late night drinking, voiding one's rheum and talking bollocks.
We indulge.

After spending a few days getting the feel of the neighbourhood (Freo & Perth bars, cafes, etc.), minting a commemorative Heppytour silver coin at the Perth Mint and visiting Gary's offices to meet a baby kangaroo, we finally get out and make our way to York. It's a one horse town in the middle of nowhere, and unfortunately, we arrive on Saturday, when it's closed. Oh well. Most interesting item is the fly collections at a local woodcarving gallery. Really.

Buy a boomerang; Garry buys a kite. We drive to a posey beach where Garry flies his kite. Much fun. Way too windy for the boomerang (unfortunately I establish this through trial and error rather than intelligent deduction). No swimming today as a local was eaten by a shark recently. Watch the sun go down over the Indian Ocean whilst we quaff some wine.

Garry borrows his boss's car and we drive a ridiculously long way north to a one mule town, Cervantes. The reason for coming here is to drive to the nearby National Park to watch sunset over the Pinnacles. These are bizarre rock formations - what appear to be hundreds of standing stones from a few inches to 12 feet in height. It looks like a massive natural graveyard. We watch the sun set then, a bonus, the full moon rises behind us. Garry flies his kite.

Back in Freo we take the ferry over to Rotto (Rottnest Island), home of the friendly Quokka. These are small, rodent-like marsupials that have no fear of man and are immensely cute. Oh, and as Garry found out, more than happy to use a tent fly as a pissoir (and more). Spend the evening annoying the younger generation in the bar by putting 'oldies' on the jukebox.

Try out the boomerang in near perfect conditions. Manage to get it lodged in a tree some 500m away. Bugger. Spend next 15 minutes tree climbing. Hire bikes and ride to the beach. Undertake diverse activities - KT reading, Garry kite string untangling, M building sandcastles complete with moat, drawbridge, urban development, infrastructure... then swimming in a crystal clear ocean under a brilliant blue sky with temperatures in the 30s. But, as ever, there is a fly in the ointment. Literally - although flies in the sunscreen may be slightly more accurate. Ride back to the ferry. Except KT, who pushes her bike as she blows an innertube. And M, whose chain jams and has to wait for a replacement bike to be delivered.

Back to spend the evening at Fremantle's gaol, a torchlight tour by a former warder. Interesting that it has been in use for over a hundred years, so plenty of history, including a riot in 1988.
Join a group taking a boat out into the natural harbour at Rockingham and are quickly in the water swimming with dolphins. This is well managed - the dolphins are not fed or otherwise encouraged to interact with us, they come and investigate out of curiosity - and there's a limit on the number of visitors. We are lucky that they feel comfortable enough to let a young calf come and play with us. He performs acrobatics beneath us and jumps out of the water beside KT. We spend the rest of the day with silly grins on our faces from this magical experience.

Oh, and if you were wondering, the other odd sightings that were seen only by the boys -

        ·   an unaccompanied baby in a pram wheels past the pub
        ·   a fairy adjusts her knickers as she travels up an escalator
        ·   one of Belinda's cats jumps 2ft vertically in the air whilst we sit drinking

The following day, it's very hot. We swelter our way into Perth where Garry has pulled some strings and we get a 'behind-the-scenes' tour of Perth Zoo. We see the animal hospital and its patients, meet the elephant and giraffe keepers and get to feed the elephants, stoke the cheetah and see the Sumatran tiger cubs.

Not a bad week.

Leave Garry, hire a car and drive south.

Enter the forest land of the Karri, Marri and Jarrah. Beautiful, tall hardwood trees. Arrange accommodation in the middle of the forest and climb the highest tree we can find. At 65m, it's quite a climb, but luckily there are some steel pins hammered into it to help - it's an old fire lookout tree. Fall asleep to the eerie sound of the kookaburras.

Join a tour of the forest sponsored by the local logging company. Very informative and some persuasive arguments for managed forestry, but difficult to assess as there is no-one to provide the counter argument.
Spend the afternoon on a tram ride through the forest. Obviously.

It starts to rain as we've organised a horse ride. So, dripping, we gallop through the trees accompanied by a mad dog. Luckily, the stables own him. Great fun.

Worry KT by driving through the seemingly endless forest with the fuel guage on zero. After pausing to climb a walkway through the canopy, we carry on to Denmark (and there was me thinking I'd escaped). It's raining and the temperature has dropped from 32 to 16 degrees. Funny that.

Carry along some dramatic coastline to Albany, rain continuing. Visit the last whaling station in Australia - interesting and distressing at the same time, not helped by the continuing rain.

Drive up to the Ponongurup N.P. only because it's a less silly name than Mount Barker, which is flat. Go for a walk, disturbing some kangaroos on the way.

KT's mum has given us a Christmas present, so we have upgraded to a chalet on a farm in Margaret River for the festive season. It's a wine producing area so we stock up; also managing to find cheese and chocolate factories to help with our supplies. Stoke up the barbie and sample some of the local vintage before trying out our spa bath. Spend Christmas Eve on the beach. Blue sky, blue sea, brilliant white sand, etc., etc. Tough life this roughing it round the world. Christmas morning we whizz down to Cape Luewin, another dividing line between oceans - the Indian and Southern in this case. Back through Karri forest to spend a few hours on the beach and in the sea. At 39 degs, it's the hottest Christmas since 1968. Back at the chalet, feel a little guilty eating lamb whilst Jessie, the farm collie, rounds up the sheep and presents them to us. Spend Boxing Day watching the surfers, then paddling up the river on a canoe as part of a "Bushtucker Tour" - an exploration of some of the colonial and aboriginal history of the region, punctuated with bushtucker - emu, kangaroo, grub pate, fruits and nuts. Mostly edible. Even the bugs.
Have to leave our chalet, but decide to stay in the area, so pitch our tent near to the beach. Then go and sit on it. The beach. All day. Except when we have to cool off in the sea. Come back to the beach after sunset to look at the southern constellations and watch shooting stars.

The weather changes yet again (just like being at home, only warmer). So we visit the nearby raptor centre. Concludes with an opportunity to have a fish eagle sit on our gloved hand. Who needs two in the bush?

Back to Freo for New Year (by flying west, we lose a few hours this year that we'll only get back next year).

Left Fremantle and flew to Ayres Rock (Uluru). Hot. Very hot. Luckily where we stayed had a pool, so spent an afternoon there with a friend from Africa, Sonia, who just happened to be passing the middle of nowhere.

Tried to view the rock at sunrise (far too many people up at 5am) and sunset, but it rained. No glorious pictures of beautiful light, but some of waterfalls gushing over the side. Bet you'd never considered that. Walked around the base. First time KT reckoned she had done a six mile walk before breakfast!

Catch a bus to Alice Springs. The town's a long way from anywhere and the local population reflect that. Still, it's interesting from an anthropological point of view.

A change of travel plans to delay our arrival in Sydney (find out more by staying tuned) and we catch the overnight train to Adelaide. Named "The Ghan" after the Afghans who used to ferry people across the desert by camel, it's quite an experience. Mile after mile of endless bush, but some great sunsets.

Arrive in Adelaide and, courtesy of the lovely Fiona, invite ourselves to stay with Carol (Fi's sister) and Johnny. Made welcome, particularly by the young Alexander and Patrick who, both being under 4, are looking for a new challenge. We fit the bill. Split from Major Ball and his youngest with intentions to meet for lunch. He ends up in the wrong restaurant. Probably not good material for the Ordnance Corps.
Slob in front of some videos including 'The Perfect Storm' (this is relevant).

Carol takes us for a tour of the local wineries. Oh dear, free samples again.
Leave the Balls and join a trip to Kangaroo Island. Pull up near the ferry quite relaxed. Watch it pull out to reveal our boat - a little fishing vessel. Intrepid, we climb aboard the vessel and head out into the worst water since 'A Perfect Storm' (told you it was relevant). Arrive, shaken and stirred on Kangaroo Island to a bush camp where we dine on Skippy steaks then snuggle down in our jolly swags, under the shade of the Coolabah Tree, where we sit as we wait until our billy boils...

Spend two days touring K.I. walking on the beach among the seals, under the trees where the koalas hang out and in the bush where the possums sleep on top of us. Nearest approach to a platypus is a ripple on the water. Oh well, a secluded sandy beach and warm sea do something to make up for that. Sandboard down the dunes into a creek (not quite as high as Namibia).

Back on the South Australian mainland we pick up a hire car and take our leave of the Balls. We drive along the Great Ocean Road for two days admiring the rock formations, temperate rainforest, volcanic lakes and 40ft high giant lobster. Don't ask - it seems to be some sort of competition here.

Arrive in Melbourne to the sight of the police pulling a vehicle out of the river. But despite this, Melbourne turns out to be a very nice city. We find accommodation in the bohemian suburb of St. Kilda (suits you, God) and stroll down to the beachfront to watch the girl's volleyball tournament. Sometimes I wonder why we travel. Visit the new Melbourne museum which has the eclectic mix of Ned Kelly's suit of armour, the racehorse Phar Lap (stuffed) and Charlene's wedding dress. Back in St. Kilda we have a complete blow out meal to celebrate the fact that we got older earlier this year. As luck would have it the Australian Open is on so we set off to see Anna K, but somehow are delayed (KT disputes the reason) and only get to see Agassi and Henman. Odd that.

Leaving Melbourne we bus to Canberra, which isn't as weird as people have made out, but distinctly quiet. Love a country whose dress code for entering the parliament building is shorts, t-shirt and sandals (no vests or thongs). Only an overnight before cruising into Sydney to meet the little brother. He's taken the 3 day train from Perth, and it shows. Also, he's managed to miss a timezone so is working half hour ahead of us.

Meet up with Liz and Mikey B, two more Africa friends for dinner, prodding J every so often as trainlag takes its toll.Take a day off travelling to go to the beach; Bondi obviously. Great fun in the waves, but although it's 30 degrees, I'm shivering. Concerned that it might be a return of malaria (as my temperature soars to 40) we visit Casualty on Saturday night. After 6 hours of investigations by a pretty English doctor and Scottish nurse (didn't draw it out, honest), the dreaded malaria is confirmed...

So, eventually get discharged with a large dose of nasty drugs and a note for the infectious diseases clinic (might come in handy) to issue me with some more.

Had arranged to climb Sydney Harbour Bridge the following morning. Went down with KT and J, but found the staircase to the office too much so went and sat in a cafe instead. Met up with the family 3 hours later for a laugh at their photos - they had to get dressed up as Rod and Jane from Rainbow (Freddy in the bar as usual). Only thing we could get to see at the Opera House was 'The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)' which was hilarious - I recommend that you "Get thee to a nunnery" as soon as possible.

Learn that Oz's health service is as crumbling as our own as we try to get my malaria potion. The IDC hasn't got a doctor and everybody has a different opinion as to why they can't help. After much rushing around I end up with a private prescription at the pharmacy next door to the hospital who then run over to get the drugs from the dispensary.

So we fly to Cairns. And book into a hostel next door to the hospital - taking no chances. It's hot and sticky. The weather. So we go for a beer. Except me. 'Cos I can't drink. But the setting is amazing - rainforest down to the bright blue sea. KT does her bit for the environment by kicking a frog three feet into the air.

J goes white water rafting and comes back looking like a freshwater yabbie (bright pink, same as a lobster, only pint sized).
KT&I head north to a secluded rainforest resort by the beach for a couple of nights leaving J to his own devices. Can't go swimming off the white sandy beach as it's jellyfish season, so have to resort to the pool in the forest instead. Life as a backpacker is just too hard. Join a tour for a night walk in the rainforest, so named because it does just what it says. We walk, at night, in the forest. It rains. Lots. But we see lots of nature, including phosphorescent fungus and fireflies. And huge 'orrible spiders. Next day we take a boat out to the reef. The medication means I can't dive (don't want a repeat of the Zanzibar underwater vomathon) but we have a fantastic time snorkling amongst the coral and brilliantly coloured fish. Truly amazing.

Drive and boat back to Carins spotting huge crocs on the way to meet up with J who has enjoyed 'Uncle Brian's Rainforest Experience' including a nasty incident where he spotted a platypus. But let's not get into that.

A nine and a half hour bus trip takes us to Airlie Beach where we have arranged to go sailing around the Whitsunday Islands on a 63ft former Americas Cup yacht. There are 13 of us plus two crew. The yacht looks fantastic and we cruise gracefully among the forested islands with sandy beaches. There's just enough wind to get the sails up and J & I try to annoy KT singing joyful sea shanties like the old sea dogs that we are. The 'Southern Cross' drops anchor from time to time and we dive into the warm water to snorkel amongst the coral and fish (sound familiar?). Lot's of smug "This is the life" kind of phrases abound.




What more? Well there were dolphins jumping out of the water beside us and porpoising along, the stop on possibly the most beautiful beach we have ever seen (Whitehaven), drinking (bar me) under the stars. Stop! I'm even making me jealous now. Before leaving Airlie we stop in at a kangaroo rescue centre for much oohing. J gets to surrogate a baby wallaby for a while. What a cutie!

Take the overnight bus south to Hervey Bay, arriving completely knackered.

Arrange to do a self-drive 4WD tour of Fraser Island (the largest sand island in the world). Hook up with 4 other foreigners and pick up our Land Rover. Owing to an oversight, I'm the only one insured to drive. I decide not to mention the fact that I haven't driven a 4WD before as it makes me nervous enough having seen photos of the tracks and I don't want to panic anyone. The weather's taken a turn for the worse and driving through the rainforest is fun (through gritted teeth) then FUN! The beach is also a road, but has a number of creeks crossing it as well as the island's only runway, so it's somewhat hazardous as visibility drops and the tide comes in.

But we are hardy, adventurous backpacker types and I manage to stifle the odd scream. 3 days on this island is going to be fun! Do manage to see some of the wonderful scenery and go swimming in the amazingly clear freshwater lakes. Second night's camping proves challenging as the rain gets heavier - J can see the river flowing under his tent. Luckily we have a Dutch dyke engineer with us (hey do we pull some lucky breaks now and again, even if the terminology is a trifle ambiguous) and he manages to divert the torrents. Awake to find a puncture, do some more sightseeing, get lost in a massive forested sanddune and manage to miss the ferry (well maybe not all the lucky breaks).

Leave for Brisbane the next day. Although not the best city we've visited, it has one major factor in its favour. I've finished my malaria treatment and can start drinking again. Coincidentally, the Castlemaine Brewery is only 10 minutes walk from our hostel. Oh dear.

In order to get over the hangover, we go out of town the next day to a sanctuary where we can cuddle a koala. This does the trick, although Cecil does what most animals do when handled. Also get to see some sleepy wombats and a Tasmanian Devil.

Take a bus south again to Byron Bay. I made the booking at the Blue Iguana and didn't quite catch where KT&I were staying, other than it was outside the hostel. Arrive to find our double room is actually a single decker bus.
Next day J and I book our first surf lesson. Bit of a Brucie bonus finds us being taught by Emma and Lee, two 20 year old blonde surf babes. Life's a beach. Turns out that surfing isn't as easy as it looks and I take a major whack around the face then one round the back of my head as the surfboard interfaces with the wrong end of my body. But it's great fun. Eventually learn to stand up and to fall off up-rip of the board.
Take a day off on the beach and watching the sun go down from a nearby bar before having another go at this surfing malarky. Much less head-board contact but still much hilarity in the standing up attempts.

Take our last overnight bus back to Sydney. Last night with J and (promised I wouldn't mention this as it will destroy his credibility) he buys us a nice dinner at an oriental restuarant in Darling Harbour. Mind you, had to come to the other side of the world for this experience, so don't want you getting your hopes up.

Say our goodbyes and then we arrange to go up into the Blue Mountains for a cooler time. Take a very pleasant train ride to Katoomba and manage to meet J in a bar. Small world. He's off early to go canyoning, so we have a beer and say our final, final goodbyes. After a day visiting the tourist options, we too decide to do some canyoning and spend a morning with a guide and a likeminded girl training on abseiling. The afternoon is spent abseiling into a gorge and then making our way downstream anywhich way - scrambling, floating, swimming, inching along logs...Absolutely great fun. However, this event marked the demise of the LEGO Watch which had withstood all sorts of trials - from gorillas to sandboarding to dolphins to surfing. The climb out is the finisher and all we can do for the evening is sit, drink beer and groan. So spend the next day in a swimming pool, spa and sauna.

More walking in the mountains and then back to Sydney for our third and final time. I've taken a raincheck on the Bridge Climb so leave KT early and join Big Pete for the climb to some magnificent views over the harbour. Wave to Ren's former hometown of Kirribilli and to the huge cruiseliner in the harbour.

Wander around Sydney taking in the sights and visiting a couple of museums. It's a beautiful night and we watch the real Southern Cross over the botanical gardens. Spend our last couple of nights in a room above a traditional Aussie pub. Makes a nice change from backpacker accommodation.

Our last day is spent on the beach at Manly. Send an ironic postcard to God. Well why not? M

and on to NZ

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Links
Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb
Southern Cross Sailing
Rockingham Dolphins

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