Heppytour in New Zealand

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Arrived in NZ and were immediately interrogated by the fruit beagle. We were let go only after our tent was fumigated.

Next day, locate the folks looking somewhat haggard, having lost Tuesday by flying from LA. Business Class, poor dears. But it's great to see them after six months - especially as they come bearing gifts.

Spend our first full day with them seeing the sights of Christchurch. Head to the International Antarctic Centre and get driven around the airport in a huge Hagglund - an amphibious Antarctic vehicle that can cross mighty cracks and bottomless water filled pits. Mrs. Dress up in full mufti and play in the simulated Antarctic experience. Great fun!

A spectacularly scenic mountain drive up to Queenstown and book onto the 'Triple'. Respect to pa H as he elects to join us. We start the morning with a half hour ride in a jet boat down the Shotover canyon. Coming within inches of the rock walls and spinning 360 degrees on the spot, we are soon drenched, but laughing maniacally. A helicopter flight up the canyon afterwards and we are briefed for white water rafting. Handily, they have instructions for Australians (pictograms). The highlight of our run down is the 170m tunnel (built at a cost of $10,000 to yield $800 of gold!), I am given the "privilege" of steering from the front whilst everyone else cowers in the bottom of the raft. Have no fear Hepworth leads the way, using his head as sensor.
The afternoon is spent fairly quietly - racing down the luge on the mountain above Lake Wakatipu.

Heading down south to Dunedin we opt for an eco tour. This includes seeing the graceful Royal Northern Albatross land like Concorde on the Otago peninsular and, to the delight of KT and ma H, we hide from yellow eyed penguins as they come ashore after a hard day's fishing.

As we are in New Zealand, plenty of great scenery, so we drive down the Southern Scenic Route, to take it all in. Great sea cliffs, deep forest, quiet lakes, noisy waterfalls.
Obviously the Kiwis decide that this should only be done on untarred roads, but as you know, M is an expert at this, following the Frazer Island experience. No sheep were hurt in the making of this report.

Stop in Invercargill, which is so very wrong.

Next night we reach Te Anau, staying at a deer farm. Our chalets have great views across the mountains and we partake of a little wine, watching the sun go down. Leave the folks asleep and KT and I join a group of 4 Israelis and 3 Brits to be ferried to Doubtful Sound, by the redoubtable Reg. As we begin our descent, the view of the Sound is amazing. Steep cliffs lead down into a still fjord with mist hanging in the morning light. On the water in double kayaks things change rapidly. A storm picks up - we watch the rough water run along the fjord towards us. Waves over a metre stop us rejoining our support boat. KT in the front of the kayak is so high above the water she can't reach it with her paddle. But, the scenery changes as the cliffs turn into huge waterfalls. Beautiful. Reg eventually manages to pick us up and we cruise in the Sound for a while, before risking it again. This time, an Israeli pair capsize (nothing to worry about from their navy, then) and have to be rescued. apparantly one of the worst days in the past seven years, but an incredible experience!


Do our first tramp.
You heard - it's a national sport in NZ.
This is not the roughing up of the underclass, but hiking, and we start with a half day along the Kepler Track. Mixed woodland following the river to Lake Manapouri which the mountains frame.
Meanwhile, the folks have been cruising on Doubtful Sound in beautiful sunshine, spotting seals, dolphins and penguins.

We celebrate the halfway point of the Heppytour by driving the folks down to Milford Sound. Stopping off for the odd walk and view in the glaciated landscape we have a millpond cruise down the valley. Much more touristy than Doubtful and constantly buzzed by small aircraft, it's no doubt impressive, but the quiet majesty of Doubtful is a winner for us.

Leaving fjordland we drive along the dramatic west coast to Franz Joseph.
Leave the folks, who are off to go kayaking on a local lake then helicopter over the mountains, and kit up for our glacier climb. Boots, "ice talonz", ice axe and guide, we have eight hours before our next pee stop.The climb is hard, but rewarded with blue ice caves, squeezing canyons and KT enjoys the "bum up" from one of the guides. Hard work, especially on the knees coming down, but a welcoming beer and spa bath is a good tonic after a brilliant day.
Arise stiff.

A drive through Lewis Pass takes us to Marnia hot springs. Dad and I engage in some father-son bonding in the Japanese bath house after we all bonded with the ever present sand flies in the outdoor sulphur pools. Complete the theme with a Japanese hot rock dinner.


Back on the east coast we arrive in Kaikoura and will have to wait a couple of days to be able to go on a whale cruise and dolphin swim. KT and I charter a helicopter (who doesn't) to see the amazing Sperm Whales from the air.


With a cloudless sky, the water is so clear, it is possible to see their entire body, not just their flukes. Every other word is punctuated by "Wow". Unfortunately the weather breaks and we're unable to go cruising so we leave dolphinless.

Heading north, we stop briefly in Marlborough for a wine tasting and grab a couple of bottles for our next stop, St. Arnaud in the middle of the forest. We split up and KT & I walk around Lake Rotoiti, an eight hour tramp. KT goes arse down on a rock and develops a bruise to rival John Noakes' bobsleigh incident. Like a NZ sunset!

Finally make it to the northern end of South Island and once again leave the folks. They go off to do half day kayaking and full day walks as we opt for a three day kayak along the Able Tasman National Park coast. 8 of us, including two Kiwi honeymooners are attached to one guide and we're soon off, ducking the low flying gannets. Much paddling past tree lined shores and glorious white beaches. Blue skies and sea tell a different tale to our last kayaking experience. In and out of sea caves before camping just off of the beach. A stroll along the beach before dinner, sleep only interupted by curious possums. Only downside - no camp fire as the area's tinder dry. Spot a few seals, but are thwarted from going to far west by the wind. Instead paddle around peaceful lagoons and up bubbling rivers. A little embarrassed as the tide goes out and we have to carry the kayaks downstream after a brief walk to a waterfall. Hot showers are welcome as we meet up with the folks, yet again.
But this is where we say goodbye to them. We drop them at the ferry terminal in Picton as they are off to North Island before leaving for Oz.

We dump the car and take a couple of water taxis for our post parent chill out at a backpackers miles from anywhere in the Marlborough Sounds. Sporting a brand new spa pool overlooking the sound, free gin, free mussels and fishing gear, chilling is not too difficult. I take a boat out with a couple of Germans and we spend an afternoon and evening feeding the local snapper with pilchards. And failing to land any. Still, Egbert's tales of bomb-making ensure that this is one of the weirdest chill outs. Watch the sun go down from the fishless safety of the spa pool. Leaving Marlborough is actually quite difficult. Particularly as the clocks went back so we're way too early for our water taxi. Well, no-one said anything.

On the ferry over to Wellington, we are joined alongside by dancing dolphins.
Lots of fun in the interactive Te Papa museum, and get to see the skeleton of Phar Lap (the racehorse whose skin we saw in Melbourne), but it's good to be leaving the city for the countryside again.
En route to the art deco town of Napier, we stop at the national wildlife centre and catch a glimpse of the elusive kiwi.

As we drive through Masterton, KT informs me that there are 3 million sheep within a 16km radius.I reckon that this is about 10,000 per sq mile. KT counts to 11 before falling asleep. Not auditor material.
Napier is very pretty, having been destroyed by an earthquake in 1931 and rebuilt in current style. But for KT, the dolphin show and the behind-the-scenes "penguin experience" tour are definite hightlights. Never cuddled a penguin before. Smell of fish.

On to Taupo. We decide to do the Tongiro Crossing - a full day tramp.


This is probably the best day walk I've ever done, albeit one of the hardest. It's volcanic scenery all the way - we pass high volcanoes, cross crater floors, lunch by bright green crater lakes and wander past steaming fissures and moonscapes.

So how do we top that? Well, after a visit to the smelly "Craters of the Moon", we head out to the airport. It's time to strap ourselves to a Kiwi and jump out of a plane. [Kiwi: (noun) flightless bird of New Zealand - oh shit].


At 12,000 feet I'm the first out, KT watching me tumble head over heels twice before she's pushed out. Amazing facial expressions as the wind bites for 45 seconds of freefall. The parachute kicks in and we have amazing views over Lake Taupo and surrounds.
High on adrenalin, we need much beer.

How to top that? Well, we drive to Rotorua and book ourselves in at the Polynesian spa for an Aix massage. Essentially having a massage in the shower. All above board and oddly relaxing. Chill out in the 40 degree pools by the lakeside.

North to Whakatane where we have another go at dolphin swimming. The boat is surrounded by Common Dolphins - maybe a hundred of them, but they soon duck down as we get into the water.


Shame, but great to see from the boat. On the way back we circle the most active volcano in NZ - White Island. Steaming nicely and a pretty impressive island.


More volcanic stuff next morning as we go to see Lady Knox geyser blow her top. Or his top. Whatever. Then on to a sheep show. Obviously. A veritable chocolate box of breeds, performing sheepdogs (and ducks) and a shearing demonstration. Great fun. Especially the dogs who jump from sheepback to sheepback. Finish the day with some maori entertainment, including the Haka. KT reckons they're way cuter than the Aboriginies of Oz!

And as we reach the end of our stay in NZ?
Well, one day consisted of getting dressed up in wetsuits yet again (it's becoming compulsive) before a 100 foot abseil down into the bowels of the earth. Then a pitch black flying fox to some rubber rings for some "Black water rafting" along underground rivers, lit by glowworms. Then the natural 2 hour scramble up waterfalls, along rivers, through caves back to the surface.
Another is spent galloping along the wild beaches of the east coast. (On horseback, if you were wondering).
And another watching the islands in the accurately named 'Bay of Islands' appear and disappear in the rain.

and on to South America

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